I was watching my little one last night...sitting in her chair, vest strapped on her, watching her favorite movie "Land Before Time" and I noticed something about my daughter for the first time. She has an amazing knack for adapting to her circumstances. A few days ago when we showed her the vest and put it on her little chest, she was terrified...so unsure of herself...not knowing what to expect. We powered it on, it inflated like a big suit of armor and the tears welled up in her eyes...she was most definitely out of her comfort zone...her tiny arms went straight to the side in the air and she reached for me, saying "mommy take it off". If that's not the worst feeling ever, I don't know what is. Once it really started pulsating my heart sunk. It goes FAST and we are still at some of the lowest settings. It's loud, bulky, fast, ugly and unfamiliar. It freaks me out to a certain degree to see her chest moving so fast...it just doesn't seem right to have your 3 year old strapped in this contraption. I had to hide my uncertainty and show her that this was "fun" and that it would "tickle instead of hurt". I've learned that even if I'm freaked out, I can't show any inkling of that doubt to her...I have to smile through it. She has two 20-minute treatments a day in the vest. You have to remember that for 3.5 years of her life all she has known has been manual hand percussion, which involves sitting on my lap and being close to me...it's always kinda been our "special time" almost snuggly to a degree. The vest requires that she sit off by herself...all alone in this "thing" off to one side of mommy. My husband and I are in the habit now of holding her hand while she's doing the vest, because it makes her feel safer. It seems to work just fine...I just am getting used to seeing it on her, hearing it, having it take up an entire corner of my house. It's just one more thing we have to lug with us when we go somewhere. My husband and I laugh whenever we travel to visit someone. Most parents have a hard enough time packing everything they need, but I give a high-five to any parent that has a kid with a medical issue. When we pack, I have to pack the night before and she ALONE has 3 large suitcases that are just for her. We are so jammed in our truck when we drive haha...and now we have this monstrosity to add to our collection of medical equipment. haha YAY! 4 days ago when we first put her in her vest, she was terrifed...and in a matter of 4 days she has adapted to what is becoming a part of her life. She is such a trooper...a strong child, wise beyond her years. She's amazing in so many ways, but as I was watching her have her treatment last night I began to smile. She started to talk during her treatment and was saying "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and "OOOOOOOOoooooooohhhh". When she does that it sounds so hilarious, because imagine hitting your chest rapidly and yelling those vowel sounds...silly girl. She was laughing so hard and I couldn't stop laughing...she was making the best of her situation. It filled me with such a sense of pride as a mother :) I have a great kiddo that doesn't give-up or stress or cry or freak out at the first sign of change or adversity...she just rolls with the punches and it's one of the most important qualities a parent hopes to see in their children. Makes me happy somewhere deep down inside :) I feel so blessed to have a child that is so resilient...she inspires me to be a better person...a stronger person. So, in the meantime we're still working on adjusting to the vest...but we'll see. Kids seem to deal better with these things than their parents do...
haha We'll see you next time on "As the vest turns"
~Courtney
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